I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
