OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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