As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
