Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
