I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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