I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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