at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
