i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
