the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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