walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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