If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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