you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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