i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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