I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
