You don't have asthma, your pregnant
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
