At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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