But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
