You just made me feel so damn special
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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