have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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