i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
