I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
