Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
