hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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