I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
