We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
