if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Randomize
