he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
