I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Still dying that you shit outside
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
