So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
