Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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