I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
