Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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