The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
