I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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