I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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