You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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