I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
