STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
