You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
