Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
