hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So much rum. So many feels.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
