you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
