Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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