You smell like a Billy Joel song
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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