ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
