I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
