Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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