He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
