Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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