I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
